My Bread is Dead.

My whole theory with this Gluten Free thing is to make items available in my house that are the equivalent to "normal" peoples food so that I dont feel left out, aka jealous.  Being a good little Gluten-Free girl I decided to try my hand at baking a loaf of sandwich bread to keep around for lunches.  I had the brilliant idea of freezing half of the loaf I baked so that it would stay and keep the other half out and accessible.  Now, dont get me wrong, during my PGF days (code for Pre-Gluten Free) I could easily house a loaf of bread.  Why?  No, not because I really want to be trained by Jillian on the Biggest Loser so to gain weight I'd sit and eat a loaf of bread in one sitting.  No, no, it was more along the idea of oh I dont know, because its just so DELICIOUS. Hello?
So after winning my first Gluten Free Bread Mix at my first ever North Texas Gluten Intolerance Group meeting I thought my stars were aligning enough to make the perfect loaf of bread...Right?  Well, yes, if you prefer your loaves of bread to transform itself into croutons magically when introduced to heat in the oven.  Granted, I have some delicious (aka as stale as mud) garlic croutons now but thats not what the aim was for.  I wanted a LOAF of bread for god's sake.
So this is the end result of Toro's "Celiac Safe Whle Meal Bread Mix"....What the shit is this nonsense?

Ugh. Next task please.

GF PUMPKIN PIE CRUNCH SNACK MIX

Ingredients:

1/4 C. brown sugar

1 T pumpkin pie spice

1/4 C butter

2 t Vanilla (Gluten Free)

2 C Gluten Free Cinnamon Chex cereal

2 C Gluten Free Honey Nut Chex cereal

2 C Gluten Free Rice Chex cereal (you could even use the GF Chocolate Chex here for a sweeter treat)

8 oz of pecans

Directions:

1) In a small bowl, mix brown sugar and pumpkin pie spice together; set aside

2) In a microwave safe bowl, melt butter on High heat for about 30 seconds

3) Stir in vanilla extract into melted butter, set aside

4) In large microwave safe bowl, mix all cereals and pecans

5) Pour butter/vanilla mixture over cereal, stirring until evenly coated

6) Add sugar and spice mixture to cereal and stir until coated

7) Microwave uncovered on High for 1 minute. Stir

8) Repeat microwaving for 1 minute and then stirring until you have cooked the mix for a total of 5 minutes (the mixture should begin to brown)

9) Spread onto wax paper to cool at room temperature

10) Enjoy a delicious fall treat!

THE END OF THE BEGINNING

First and foremost let me introduce myself-I'm Liz and I'm a bread-aholic.  The love of my life and I have been in a very monogamous relationship for the past 25 years and there is not a day that goes by that I don't let my love know how important it is to me by inhaling every single thing that even resembles bread in the slightest.

Then it happened.  That dreadful day I had been waiting for for the past 6 years since my lover decided to have serious quarrels with my stomach.  That day where I heard the words: "You cant eat gluten anymore."  As I looked up at my G.I. with my teary doe eyes, feeling as though my kitten had just run away from home (note: I do not even own a cat, so imagine the pain!), I realized that I actually may have to give this whole Gluten Free lifestyle a run for its money...or rather a run for MY money since apparently SUBTRACTING ingredients means RAISING the price of these "convenient" Gluten Free items.  Irony at its best I suppose?

So here I am, 25 years gone with something that has never let me down, who has been there through thick and thin..and sourdough...and marble rye...and honey wheat..AHH! No really though, who has been there through thick and thin and now I have to break up with Gluten just because some guy in a white coat told me too.  Puh-LEASE!  Breaking up with Gluten day 1.

Follow me as I review the products that I never would have looked at before my irreconcilable differences with gluten were pointed out to me so blatantly, as I attempt to make my favorite recipes cater to my new lifestyle and as I comically review this whole experience